A moment of emotion
I talked to the husband yesterday. It was the first time I have talked to him since he went to jail, and it was a sneak attack. He called his mom and had her 3 way, and at work non the less. He had the nerve start quoting scripture in regards to our marriage and told me needed to know if I was going to stand by him. AAAAARRRGGGHHHH. I told him that he was in no place to start quoting scripture in regards to our marriage and I was not going to discuss our marriage with him now. He insisted I give him an answer, so I told him that he would not like the answer if he had to have it now. Then he proceeded to ask that I at least be a spiritual support to him.
I will tell you that I pray for him daily. I pray that the Lord let him hit rock bottom, so the only place he has to go is to Jesus.
He said that he did not want me to hate him, I told him I don't hate him. He said that is what scares him is my lack of caring. I am numb to him at this point.
And then he said that he did not want this to hinder my relationship with God. OH MY! I said "Boy, you sure do give yourself alot of credit, don't you! Well, this has only shown me that I need to be closer to Him, and never take my focus off of Him, because He will never leave me or fail me." And I hung up.
Ok! So in my haste came angry words. I have purposely not talked to him, to avoid that. So I am contemplating my next step. Call a laywer, find out! I am not sure. I know that we can't be a part of each others lives anymore. It is not healthy, for me or him and most importantly, the kids. They are the ones who need the shelter from him and his self destruction. He keeps hitting that button and the kids and I always get hit with the fragments from the explosion.
So thanks for bearing with me while I vent! I always feel better when I write things, and soon I hope to be able to write about the last few years of my life. Thanks for being along for the journey and for all the uplifting prayers and comments.
I will tell you that I pray for him daily. I pray that the Lord let him hit rock bottom, so the only place he has to go is to Jesus.
He said that he did not want me to hate him, I told him I don't hate him. He said that is what scares him is my lack of caring. I am numb to him at this point.
And then he said that he did not want this to hinder my relationship with God. OH MY! I said "Boy, you sure do give yourself alot of credit, don't you! Well, this has only shown me that I need to be closer to Him, and never take my focus off of Him, because He will never leave me or fail me." And I hung up.
Ok! So in my haste came angry words. I have purposely not talked to him, to avoid that. So I am contemplating my next step. Call a laywer, find out! I am not sure. I know that we can't be a part of each others lives anymore. It is not healthy, for me or him and most importantly, the kids. They are the ones who need the shelter from him and his self destruction. He keeps hitting that button and the kids and I always get hit with the fragments from the explosion.
So thanks for bearing with me while I vent! I always feel better when I write things, and soon I hope to be able to write about the last few years of my life. Thanks for being along for the journey and for all the uplifting prayers and comments.
posted by Sarah at 9:11 AM
6 Comments:
Praying for you......
A couple of things came to mind - and please pardon my totally unsolicited advice. First, I have turned to James Dobson of Focus on the Family for a lot of advice for handling nasty situations in marriage - I have found his advice to be Bible based and well within healthy limits. Second, you have a right to protect your children and your family. Should he decide to clean up his act, he is welcome to try to regain your love adn trust. Third, don't let anyone talk you into the lawyer until you aer ready in your heart. Better for you to file because is offers you the protection of staying in your house and keeping custody of the kids - but don't do anything until you are sure. And I am praying for you too - Stace
From experience, let me butt in by saying that him quoting scripture is a total manipulative move on his part to try and get you to back down and stand by him, when he is doing anything but standing by you. I don't believe you are required by God to stay with a man who is putting you through this kind of torment. To quote Ann Landers, are you better with him or without him? You must put yourself and your children ahead of the man you married for the better of everyone involved.
Writing these things is really good, I am glad you are using it as an outlet for yourself and to allow those of us who care about you and your situation to pray for you.
I agree that it was really wrong of him to quote scripture to you, seems like he is desperate to get you to do what he wants (manipulative?).
Stay strong. You are doing the right thing by calling an attorney. It's not easyk, but its best. Your kids and you need to the opportunity to have a safe and healthy environment.
Your in my thoughts and prayers,
Barbara
Stay strong, sweetie. You'll know when the time is right what the next step needs to be. I know the decision you make will be the right one.
Sarah,
I too am praying for you. In your shoes...I can't say I would be as strong. Not gonna give any advice...but remember, NOTHING you do can make God love you any more or any less.
One day at a time...that's all we can do.
Danielle
Post a Comment
<< Home