Saturday, April 12, 2008

Just some random thoughts

If you were upset by my last post, I apologize!

I deleted my last post due to some hurt feelings that it caused. It wasn't meant to cause any hurt feelings, it was merely my way of saying that as we grow up, things change. Sad but true. I moved away from the town that I grew up in and everytime I go back I am always amazed how much things are different when I go back. I tend to think that just because my kids are growing and I am getting older that when I go back home things will be the same as when I left. My best friends kids grow up and I am shocked at how big they are getting, even though their kids are the same age as mine, and while I recognize that Tyler will be driving soon and is a freshman in HIGH SCHOOL, the safety of "HOME" slips a little every single time I go back.
I love my family very much and they hold my sweetest, fondest memories from growing up, but times change, situations change, places change and loved ones are lost.

For those who felt it was necessary to email hurtful words to me without knowing or even asking my intentions with the post, I am sorry! Sorry that you don't know my true heart well enough, sorry that you didn't feel comfortable enough to ask and sorry that you thought I was trying to say things couldn't or shouldn't change.

I am a true type A personality, I hate change, but I know that growth doesn't happen without change. So for those who don't know, here are some changes that I am glad that happened.

I am glad that I realized I am in need of a Saviour, rather than thinking I can do it all by myself.
I am glad I changed and am no longer addicted to the drugs that ruined my life for 2 years.
I am glad that I moved away from my home town and found out that I am able to stand on my own two feet rather than relying on everyone else to do things for me.
I am glad that my kids know all about me and have learned that not everyone is perfect and that forgiveness is the true key to a happy life.

I am by no means perfect, no one is, I don't expect perfection from anyone. I expect that if you love someone, you love them unconditionally, their faults are a part of that. Just as I love my husband, he is an addict, I don't tell him that I love him but only if he keeps his mouth shut and doesn't do the drugs. I love him as he struggles with his addiction, everyday. I love him and would never tell him that he isn't allowed to express his feelings or opinions and would never make him feel guilty for doing so.

Aunt Becky and mom, I love you, in spite of your faults, I LOVE YOU for who you are, not who I want or wish you could be!

XOXOXO, here is to hoping this season passes without anymore hurt feelings or broken relationships!