Simple pleasures

It is a shame when our children have a picture taken and they seem to be contemplating life. This is Dalton and what a Dalton he is. He was upset with his father and I last night, and decided that he was moving out. He took a box that we had gotten at Aldi's while grocery shopping, went to his dresser and filled the box with clothes (and the tokens that were left over from Chuckee Cheese's). He came into the living room and stated that since he didn't fit into our family he was leaving. I told him that was fine, I just wanted him to answer one question before he went. I asked him what made him think that he did not fit into our family. He sat on the couch next to Bill and said that since we would not play games with him, he did not fit in. I almost fell off the chair laughing. Bill let him stay home from school yesterday and spent the day with him playing Clue, Guess Who, Connect Four and Candyland. We just didn't want to play last night. I am not sure when this universe started revolving around Dalton, but I am upset with the person who informed him that it did. It did however supply Bill and I with a great laugh. He is such a handful. I love him and I love the Lord for providing us the opportunity and trust to raise our children.

Washed Clean by the blood of Christ!

We as a couple professed our salvation in front of our congregation! We were baptized yesterday morning by Pastor Stout, and it feels wonderful, refreshing, and humbling all at the same time. I was very nervous, so nervous that I asked the Pastor if anyone had ever thrown up in the baptizmal. While we were waiting, Mike and Cheryl Simmons were in the room with us, Cheryl hugged me and told me not to focus on the congregation, rather, turn my focus to Christ. Her kind and wise words settled me right down. I walked into the water ( which was a little chilly) following my husband and saw the congregation. YIKES. Then I saw Katie, Travis, Betsy, Jen, Mike, the boys and the very familar faces of Pat and Stephanie from my Sunday school class, sitting watching and calm returned as I put Jesus back into perspective. I can not put into words how it felt to be baptized. Bill and I stepped out of the baptizmal and into the changing room and we both hugged and cried. I really can not put it into words. Passionate, overwhelming, humbling, renewed, and alive. These are just to name a few and yet they just don't seem to hit the nail on the head. It was awesome. So I posted this picture of us again, to remind everyone that we are one, in all we do. Our walk with Christ is as one. We will be renewing our wedding vows, we just do not know when. Please keep us in prayer as we just professed our walk with Christ and Satan will be hard on our heels. Only with Christ can we defeat Satan. Pray that we keep Him as our focus. Thank you to all who check this site and have prayed for us. Your prayers have not gone unfelt. Praise the Lord for His Word, His Love, and His Grace.

Baptized

Praise the Lord. Bill is not going to Indy today. He will go, we just are not sure when. With that, he will be here this weekend and we are both going to be baptized Sunday morning. We both spoke with the Pastor last night to confirm the date. We are both so filled with joy. Bill will give his testimony then be baptized, then if I am not crying so hard that I can not speak, I will give my testimony and then be baptized. Bill's brothers and his family attended our church, but his sister and her family does not. They will all be in attendance, and I thank God for it. Bill and I have been through more than most married couples will ever go through and we have survived, I give ALL glory to God for it. We are not mad and do not ask why we had to go through the tribulations we have gone through, we know that our salvation and the salvation of our children depended on these times. We thank God for them, and give Him all praise and glory.

John 5:24 Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death unto life.

The Girls

This picture was taken Christmas 2004. The picture contains all the girls that belong to Bill's sister, Jen. From left to right, Betsy, Katie, Jen, myself up top, Charity, Christy, and Sarah. Each and every one of these women (girls, as I think of them) have lightened my life in so many ways. Betsy worked with me for 3 yrs at Lowes, she is married to Justin (who couldn't be a better husband if we had hand picked him) and has a son, Noah (adorable) and is expecting again in July. Katie is "my girl". She has been our nanny, our live-in daughter and all around good friend to me over the years. She is dating a nice young man named Travis and she is constantly teaching me something about being a free spirit and fun loving. Jen (Bill's sister) is so many things to me. When I am in need and when I don't know that I am in need she is my counselor, friend, mother, scolder, teacher, leader, shoulder, mentor, confidante and the strongest example of Christ that I have had. She is a blessing to all who come in contact with her. She is mother of 6 wonderful children. In order, Michael, Sarah, Charity, Betsy, Katie, and Jonathan. She is married to a wonderful man named Mike, who is a loving man who is very obedient to Christ. Charity is a beautiful, hard working, strong woman. She is married to a wonderful man named Daryl who is fighting a horrible cancer as we speak. She is well rounded and extremely motivated, she is a dreamer and a lover of life. Christy is married to Michael (Jen's oldest son) and they have a son named Caleb, and are expecting another baby in July. She also worked with me at Lowes for a couple of years. Sarah, she is beautiful, smart, loving, caring, sensitive, and inspiring. She is engaged to a man named Walker, and bought her first house all be herself this summer. I will post some pictures in the near future of the men of the family. Mike, Michael, Daryl, Justin, Jonathan, Noah, and Caleb.
I will also be working on getting pictures of Bill's brother (Don's) family. It is almost as big as Jen's.

Mercy and healing

I am so full of emotion. We (Bill and I) have had incredible evenings for the last two nights. We have stayed up until the wee hours of the mornings just talking and beginning to heal. I feel so uninhibited with him now. Comfortable, peaceful, loving, at one are all adjectives that I would use to describe the feelings. We are dealing with the reality of years of hurt, heart ache, mistrust, and abuse and it feels wonderful. I can't explain it. We cry and talk and praise and cry some more. We pray and dissect and then pray some more. He makes me realize how little time I was spending with our Father every day. Bill is helping with my praying and my knowledge of His word, the Truth. I am sorry that I have wasted so much of my life being selfish. It is about repentance, changing the habits. I am so thankful that we have this time. There is a song that makes me cry every time I hear it. It is by Third Day and is called Cry Out to Jesus. It is powerful, He is powerful. So I thank the Lord that He has allowed Bill and I this time to start to heal wounds and tear down the walls of protection that we have built around our hearts. And I thank him for the peace of mind, that all will be worked out to His glory in His perfect time.


Romans 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

Happy Birthday to Blake

Happy Birthday to BLAKE, Happy Birthday to Blake, Happy Birthday my baby, Happy Birthday to Blake. Wow, how time flies, my second born is 11 years old today. Bill and I are trying very hard to help him stay his age and not grow up too fast. He is a wonderful son, and I am thankful that he is a willfull out spoken Christian. He has a hunger for the Lord, and a thirst for the knowledge and wisdom of God. We have been blessed with 3 healthy, strong boys, who the Lord has trusted us to teach, and turn into men. What an awesome responsibility.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BLAKE!!!

Asking for prayer support!

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path.

This is my prayer. As Bill and I start the healing process that has been delayed for several months, we find ourselves discovering the new individuals that the Lord has created.

II Corin 5:17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Bill and I are starting a brand new relationship. We are new creatures in Christ, praise the Lord. Yesterday was a hard day for us, individually and as a couple. I came to the realization that the healing process has begun, and it will not be easy. While Bill was incarcerated I had the choice to deal with him when I wanted to, and now I don't. Every minute of every day is a battle for him. Satan has waged a war with the bondage of drug addiction over Bill. And thank the Lord, Bill sees it. We realize as a couple that we must take every thought captive. Satan will not win. Jesus will and we will glorify Him through our walk. Pray that Bill and I as a couple will keep our eyes set upon the Lord and that He gives us the strength to heal, rebuild, and stand fast as new creatures. We are in a spiritual war with Satan, and as always Satan is trying to take as many people as he can with him. Here is what the Lord says.
John 10:28 And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.

Praise the Lord.

I have been tagged

Evidently I have been tagged and have to answer questions.
Here is the website by which I was tagged.
http://sunnybookyarns.blogspot.com/
4 Jobs you have had in your life (best to worst)
MOM, Project Manager at a Sign company, Waitress, Detassling Corn
4 Movies you could watch over and over - McClintock - This is my favorite John Wayne movie
The Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe - I saw it opening night and fell in love with the story
Stepmom with Susan Sarrandon and Julia Roberts, Any of the Harry Potter series.
4 Places you have lived
White Pigeon, MI, Edwardsburg, MI, Mishawaka, IN, Buchanan, MI
4 TV Shows you love to watch -
CSI - Vegas and Miami, Any Home Improvement episode, Survivor, Extreme Home makeover
4 Places you have been on Vacation
Charlotte, NC with Angie in high school
California with Keith (drove there and will never to that again, either with Keith or drove)
West Virginia, to see Bill's family, I will count this as two because we traveled the state for a week, and I haven't been anywhere else on vacation.
4 Websites you visit daily
http://sunnybookyarns.blogspot.com/
http://childinfaith.blogspot.com/
http://lonersridge.blogspot.com/
http://www3.caringbridge.org/oh/hopeforhaley/
4 of your favorite foods
Stroganoff - my special recipe
Pizza - not picky about toppings or from where
Bspaghettiagetti
Chili - again my special recipe
4 Places you would rather be right now - I will limit it to only 4
Being selfish - Heaven
At home with Bill and the kids
Sitting in the woods hunting
On a lake fishing

The tag chain will have to end here as I don't know any bloggers well enough to tag them except the one who tagged me.

Update from the weekend
It went way to fast, Bill and I visited with his sister and brother in law and his brother and sister in law. We went to church yesterday morning, hockey game in the afternoon and then back to church for the evening service. I sit here now broken hearted that I am at work and he is at home. I wish that I could spend every minute with him this week, and yet I feel that it is the therapy that we both need to have some time apart and start to build trust back. I just can't stop the flesh from feeling very nervous and anxious today as he is at home alone. I trust the Lord with all my heart and know that He will provide and comfort, it is Satan that sits and whispers in my ear that Bill will not change, Bill and I have made a promise to each other that we will not let Satan win, we will claim Jesus as our Savior and give our lives to Him.
Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path. Proverbs 3: 5-6

I will leave this message on those TRUTHS.

Home Again, although bittersweet

This picture represents us blowing out our individual candles after lighting our unity candle. What an awesome commitment. I will never say that I regret it. I made a vow to the man that I love in front of and to God. I will stand by that vow until I die.
Judge's decision - He sentenced Bill to 2 years of work release to be carried out in Indianapolis. He will actually serve one year there and then have completed all sentencing requirements by the judge. The judge granted him permission to come home for 1 week before reporting to Indianapolis. I have so many feelings right now, blessed to have one more week with my husband is at the top of the list. As I have explained to the people who ask how I do it - I would rather have one week with him than to have to go another year with out. I will give thanks for the blessings that have been given to us. The emotions ran high in the house as we didn't let each other out of the others sights all night. I didn't sleep and I am sure that I can say the same for him. I see the concrete feet of Christ in Bill. He talks to God all day. And by that I mean out loud, talks to God. I kept saying excuse me, what did you say. His reply was "talking to God", "thanking the Lord".
I have so much to say and yet can not put it into words. Praise the Lord for His love and His grace.

Waiting Patiently on the Lord's answer!

I have always loved this picture. Today, I am doing the same thing this picture shows. Bill goes to court today, and I have prayed that the Lord's will be done. I have asked that He bring my husband home, yet I know that if the judge decides not to let that happen that it is not His will. I have faith that the Lord will provide, care for, and love me. My desire is that Bill come home so we can begin to repair all that has been damaged by all the bad decisions over the past few years. My heart aches while I wait, the anticipation is awful, scary, hurtful and gut wrenching all wrapped up into one. I just want to know the decision of today court date. I know that what ever the judge decides is a load that I can bare with the Lord, it is merely the anticipation that has it's hold on me.

Appreciate Beauty

This is the view from my front porch. The little barn belongs to the church across the street, as does the parking lot. Just beyond the trees is an elementary school playground. This was one of the selling points to this house, the boys have the use of the parking lot to play all those great "boy" games. We are in town, and yet the trees give it that kind of country feel. I love to sit on my front porch swing and listen to the leaves on the trees, blowing in the wind. Over the past year, I have tried to stop and smell the flowers as often as I can. It snowed last night, so I am using this picture to smell the flowers. I occasionally like the snow, and yet I am constantly questioning why I choose to move closer to Lake Michigan and right into the direct path of the "lake effect snow belt" as they (weather people) love to call it.
Have a great day, and choose to feel blessed and not depressed.

Cutie Pies

The little cutie above is Miss Paige and the cutie to the right is Miss Leah. They belongs to my girlfriend Angie. Leah is two months younger than Dalton and is just adorable and Paige is just as sweet as can be. Angie, Leah, and Paige came and stayed with us for the weekend in November. Leah clung to Blake the whole time. I am not sure what it is about him, but kids love him, and he loves kids. But true to form in a house full of boys, Leah got her finger shut in my bedroom door, and Paige fell down the stairs. I was horrified. But we had a fun weekend and everyone lived. Report has it that Leah's fingernail is black and looks bad but is still there. Two months later it is still black. OUCH. Anyway, dreary day in Michiana, rainy and overcast. Blessed for it to not be snow. It has been a VERY mild winter.
Smile, it brightens everyone's day.

Wonders never cease

What a beautiful day! What a great weekend. Saturday was the first floor hockey games for Tyler and Blake. That's right, Tyler is playing floor hockey. Yeah. He was a starter and played very well, unfortunately his team lost 4-6. Blake's team is mostly made up of all the same kids that were on the team from last year. As a reminder they went undefeated all season and lost the championship game to the other team that went undefeated. Anyway, Blake's team won 9-0, they finally quit keeping score.
Now, onto the milestone from the weekend. At the hockey game Dalton bought a pickle and got about 3/4 the way through it his two bottom front teeth broke loose. So loose that he pulled them out by himself, one on Saturday and one on Sunday. These are the first teeth he has lost and I am so proud that he pulled them out by himself. His SSSSSS and FFFFFF sound so cute now. I am going to take some pictures this evening and hope to have them up by the end of the week.
Blake and Danny's birthday party went off without a hitch yesterday. There were 58 people there, adults and children. They had a great time rollerskating and just being kids. I hadn't rollerskated in far to long and it felt great to get back into skates again. It took me back to when I was younger and my Aunt Becky and Uncle Rich used to work at the skating rink. My best friend Angie and I went EVERY weekend. It was great, brought back a lot of memories.
Overall it was a great weekend, missed Bill every minute. Bittersweet.

Trusting the Lord

This is my husband, Bill. He is the part of the circle that completes me. Even though we are not physically together right now, in spirit we have always been one. I am very blessed to know what true love is. A love that is forgiving,understanding, compassionate and growing. I miss him and can't wait to feel his hug and get annoyed at all the little pet peeves. One more week, and now his attorney has been arrested in Elkhart County. AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH. The Lord has plans for us, and I am trusting this whole situation to Him. Pray that God's will be done.

Feeling blessed

Here is the final product of the black and white photo. I wish that all of my pictures were black and white. They are so simple and elegant. If I had a choice of profession, I would be a photographer and specialize in black and whites.
I talked to Jeff, my husband Bill's best friend last night. He is so funny and has been such a source for support since Bill has been gone. He makes me laugh and always give good household fixing advice just when I need it. I look at this world much as a guy does, so I have always related to men better than I do to women. Jeff is a very nice guy and is so much like me, we always laugh and carry on through the entire visit.
I spoke with Bill last night also. He is very Bill. Which is to say that he is no longer optimistic about coming home. He was certain he was coming home on Dec. 22nd and when that didn't happen he was sure that he was coming home Jan. 5th. Now he is saying - I'll see you when I see you. He knows that he will come home when the Lord is ready, he is just having jailhouse ups and downs. I can't wait for him to come home. I might actually get a full nights sleep. I have never been able to sleep with him not in bed with me. So this has been a very long 10 months. Enough about that.
I am feeling very blessed today. I have so many comforts. I have a husband who is healthy. Charity, our niece, is married and her husband is fighting cancer. He is not physically feeling well, and yet he seems to be spiritually strong when we see him. His cancer has metastized and is spreading very rapidly. My heart breaks for them, as they have been married a mere 1 1/2 years. Please keep them in your prayers and let them be a reminder of all that we have to be thankful for.

Big Day for Blake

Blake will be participating in the schools Geography Bee today. I will be leaving work early to attend. I am excited, he placed 3rd last year. The picture is Dalton from about a year ago. It is one of my favorites and I am having a friend turn it to black and white. Not much going on in my head today. Still fighting the nasty flu bug. I did read an awesome blog today and I check it daily, please visit and read and pray for this family.
http://lonersridge.blogspot.com/
There are so many people who have been given second chances and do not realize it, nor do they do anything with it. I am touched to read such a beautiful entry, and blessed by such a reminder to take every breath and make it count and give praise to the Lord for it.

Thankful

Back to work and back to school for my house. I spent most of the weekend knocked out, in bed, resting, trying to get over this flu bug. The boys were absolutely wonderful Friday night and Saturday. They let me go to bed early on Friday, and nursed me back to somewhat health on Saturday. They brought me water and snuggled with me while I was huddled in my comfy, always warm green blanket. I still didn't feel well yesterday, and yet I knew that I needed to get my booty out of bed and go get a shot of the Lord's word. I always look forward to going to my Sunday school class. It is such an uplifting gathering, every week. It is a womens class and there are women from all different ages to all different walks of life. And I wouldn't change it for anything. They are inspirational. The message from our Pastor was given from by the Lord. It was incredible. I have yet to walk out of church not being convicted. I feel that is how it should be. I never want to become comfortable in my walk with the Lord. I want to strive for more every day. No one can say they have learned all that the Lord has to teach, and I want to continue to learn, continue to grow, and continue to spread HIS word.

Staying Positive

I am sure glad that today is Friday. I am feeling very under the weather. This chest cold has turned into a head cold. YUCK. Sleeping is difficult to say the least. Roll one way, nose plugs up on one side, and vice versa.
This is a anther picture from the company Christmas dinner. Me and my funny face, with John and Holly. They are artist for North American Signs, and are both very wonderful people who I care about deeply.
Talked to Bill last night, and he was dissappointed to say the least. He is staying focused on who the true decider of all things is.
I have a dear friend coming into town this weekend, who I haven't seen in ages. It will be fun. I can't ever remember a time that the two of us were together that it wasn't side splitting. I look forward to seeing him. Please pray that these next two weeks go very fast, and that the next court date will bring Bill home. Love to all, will write soon.

Postponed

Call from Dorothy, Bill's court date has been postponed due to his lawyer being ill. There are obviously lessons that the Lord wishes for me to learn. So I will stay focused on Him and remember that He is in control and that His timing is ALWAYS perfect. ALAS...arrrgghhh. I will continue smiling.

Feeling ill and anxious

Well, it's Thursday the 5th. Bill goes to court today. My stomach is in knots and I think I am coming down with the flu. Yuck. I want to go home and put on layers of clothes and climg into bed and sweat this out. I will not know about Bill's outcome until this evening. And for those of you who know me..... I hate waiting. The Lord has blessed me with many trials over the last year that have strengthened my Faith and built up incredible patience. I was fine until today. I am not sure if it is the cold or the anticipation of the judge's decision. I feel a wreck. I have continued to remember that the Lord is in charge and that He knows the best outcome for our situation. And yet, I am a continued worrier. That only means that I am human and there is much room for improvement. Please pray that I kick this cold and it causes me to not miss work, as my paycheck can not take a setback. Love you all.

Blessings in hidden packages

The boys are back. And in rare form I may add. Keith brought them home last night, his girlfriend, Betsy, called me and wanted to vent. She is seeing why he has the title EX in front of husband. Long story short. I am pinching pennies every day. She knows this, being a single mother herself. She told me to ask him for money to help pay the bills while he was there. She knew that he had more than $100 with him. He gets there, I ask, he said that he had no money, and then gave me $40 and told me not to tell her because she would get angry that he gave me money. (NO, he does not pay support) She called back after he got to her place and told me to pack up the kids and come to her house. I did, she gave me all the money that he had with him while he was at my house. (Which was her money to begin with, he does not have a job) It was a whopping $160. Are you kidding me? I told her no, she insisted. He had lied. I was asking for help to pay the gas bill, and he lied to me. ARRGGGHHH. Anyway. I can't wait for Bill to come home so I don't have to depend on Keith. The Lord has taught me some beautiful lessons over the past year. One is that blessings come in all sizes and shapes. Keith would be a fool to let this woman get away from him. She treats the boys as she treats her own children and he is letting her slip by out of pride and laziness....... Frustrating. Anyway, bright day today. I will put a smile on and let the Lord's light shine through.

Boys are gone

Happy 2006. This is going to be a great year. I have learned so much in the past year. I know that my outlook on life is something that I choose every day. So I know in my heart that no matter what this new year brings, it will be great. The Lord is good and He will not allow bad things to happen in my family. We are children of the Lord. This will be my focus this year. To strengthen my relationship with my Father.
Well, the boys went back to Keith's on Sunday. They will be home today and I can't wait. The house is just not complete without them. It is strange enough for Bill not to be there, then with the boys gone, well, its odd. Dalton (Mr. All about me) even misses them. He has resorted to driving the dog, cat and mom crazy while Tyler and Blake are gone. And he is doing a fine job of it. We have had much fun playing Guess Who and the other board games that he loves.
For those who don't know, Bill goes to court on Thursday. This could be it. He is very hopeful to come home. I do not have the Faith in this that he does. I just continue praying that the Lord's will be done.
Amen